I can't believe it. The ultrasound saw nothing wrong. I know there is something wrong because I am in pain. The doctor is giving me a referral to a gastro guy, so maybe he'll order some test that will see what's going on with my innards.
Even with this stress and uncertainty, I haven't smoked. I haven't even had the urge to smoke. I guess maybe my mind has been occupied with other things, and since I've been quit for over 3 months, a cigarette is not the first thing I think I need to feel calm or to cope. Maybe I have developed some good coping skills. Maybe I am aging gracefully. That's what I'm enjoying thinking at this moment anyway. :)
I hope to hear from the gastro guy today, and the appliance guy is supposed to come to the house this morning to replace my icemaker. It's not a super busy day, but that's OK, because I'm not feeling tip top. I stayed in my pajamas all day yesterday, but obviously, I can't do that today. I'm sure a nice warm shower will make me feel better. I plan on wearing some stretchy workout pants I have because my stomach is still really bloated.
The Albert Camus quote at the top of my blog is becoming more real to me since I quit smoking with the help of Chantix. I know in my heart I have to adhere to the N.O.P.E. philosophy. Not One Puff Ever. If I smoked even a puff, I'd be back to smoking again like crazy. I am staying strong and resolved, and it works for me. I hope anyone reading this who is considering quitting smoking will find an invincible summer within themselves. I also hope for those who have already quit, the strength to stay that way. Stay smober, y'all!
